Weird Al’s reaction to not being able to put a Lady Gaga parody on his upcoming album: My parodies have always fallen under what the courts call “fair use,” and this one was no different, legally allowing me to record and release it without permission. But it has always been my personal policy to get the consent of the original artist before including my parodies on any album, so of course I will respect Gaga’s wishes. However, given the circumstances, I have no problem with allowing people to hear it online, because I also have a personal policy not to completely waste my stinking time.

Eight things you may or may not know about me. (This list was inspired by my friend Liz who also wrote such a list.) My Love Language (from The Book “the 5 Love Languages”) Is “Words of Affirmation”. I’m The Biggest “calvin And Hobbes” Fan On The Face Of The Entire Planet. Between My First Girlfriend At 15 And My Marriage At 21 I’d Dated 12.1 People. I’m Not Easily Impressed, And I’m Frequently Bored/depressed/feel Alone.

I’ve had 100 Gmail invites sitting in my account for the past few months. I know many people have an account already, but if there’s anybody out there who doesn’t, I’m handing them out. But there is one condition… you have to leave a joke in the comments. And not one of those lame “why did the chicken cross the road” jokes, but a good one. Alright. Who’s got the first one?

For those wondering about more regular updates, they’re coming. :) Until then, I got this email from a friend not too long ago. It’s one of my favorites because I’ve actually done some of these. At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.) Insist that your e mail address is: [email protected] or Elvis-the-King@companyname.

Which Guru Are You?

I just got passed another baton by Geoffrey. Here goes: First 5 Songs in Shuffle of Entire Music Library “All You Wanted” by Michelle Branch “Third World Think Tank” by Five Iron Frenzy “Bitter” by Me’Shell Ndegeocello “Something Beautiful” by Cauterize “Toob Amplifier” by The Presidents of the United States of America Current Book You’re Reading (or lightly leafing through) “Don’t Make Me Think” by Steve Krug Last Movie Seen in a Theater and Where Star Wars, Episode III: Revenge of the Sith Five People To Whom You’ll Pass This Darice Eric Matt Taylor Kevin

Andrew seems to have tapped me on the shoulder with the musical baton. Well, here goes… Update: It seems that this little “social experiment” has had a tremendously viral effect on the blogosphere. This is worse than ebola! I’m interested in further experimentation. Anyone have any ideas? Anyone game? Total volume of music on my computer 5887 Songs; 29.13 GB. About 2/3 MP3 and 1/3 AAC. Mostly an ecclectic mix of older stuff like the Beatles, to Alt/Rock, to Ska/Reggae, to Hip-Hop/R&B/Rap, to Country/Folk/Bluegrass, to Classical, to Opera, to Jazz/Swing, to Electronica, to Comedy bits, to Sound Clips from movies.

My best friend sent this to me last night. I thought it was hilarious, so I just had to share. No offense, ladies.

Which Napoleon Dynamite Character Are You?

Note to Self: I need to send a copy of these to my wife. Men ARE not mind readers. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. Shopping is NOT a sport.

I know that I’m a couple of weeks late for this, but here’s my hat in the ring… Heads-up: the linked image is a 1.3 MB PNG file.

This is just a bit of fun. I’m pre-emptively telling everyone to chill out. GEORGE W. BUSH We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle of the road here. JOHN KERRY Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road I am now against it.

I got this link from Digital Media Minute. It’s a site with real quotes from real clients, and is called Clientcopia. Here are a few quotes from the site: “We want it to be black, but could you not make it so dark?” And… “Why do you need the content to design the site. Can’t you just do all the design and leaves blanks and we can pop the stuff it the night before we launch?” And…

I got back from a week vacation (yes, I was on vacation) to see this quiz over at Twenty4.org:

I came across this over at Sken.be this morning. It’s a Lord of the Rings name translator. You enter your name, and a couple other bits of information, and it’ll tell you your various names. Here’s what I got: Dear Ryan Parman, If you were a Hobbit, your name would be “Budoc Holeman” If you were a (male) Man, your name would be “Moddyn” If you were an Elf, your name would be “Isindil” If you were a Dwarf, your name would be “Vonus”

I thought this was clever… Three DIVs for the design-gods, painting on Macs, Seven for the usability-lords in their websites of grey, Nine for Windoze geeks doomed to debug, One for the Zeldman on his orange page, In the land of New York where the pundits cry. One DIV to size them all, One DIV to pad them, One DIV to colour them all And in the browser style them In the land of W3 where the standards lie…\

I just came across this over at WhiteHouse.org. I thought it was funny, so I decided to share it.

Sorry I haven’t posted in a few days, but I’ve just become an Independent Contractor for a web company. It’s taken up a bit of time, but I plan to get back to normal in this upcoming week. I’ve discovered something particularly interesting about JavaScript, although I doubt it will have any effect on the real world. I’ll post about it next time. Also, I stumbled across this image the other day. I thought it was funny…

Shiver me timbers, arrr! I’ve noticed a few sites promoting “Talk Like A Pirate Day”. Jeremy Keith even put together a “Talk Like A Pirate” translator. Oh boy!

After reading a post over at Eric Meyer’s site about the Snoop Dogg Shizzolator, I figured I had to try it out. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen something as funny as this on the internet (besides Ebaum’s Epilepsy Test). I thought it was so funny, that I saved a “Shizzolated” copy of my article “Play By The Rules”. Here’s a snippet: Yo’ a** don’t throw a baseball down da field fo’ a 50-yard touchdown n’ sh**. Yo’ a** don’t kick a basketball past a goalie score a point n’ sh**.

I got this voicemail from my best friend Jeff. Twenty cows and a chicken were all taking a bath. Suddenly, they all looked up and said “Ryan’s not answering his phone.” Good grief, I love that guy! I like where Jeff’s brain goes. I wish I saw more of his “schizo-scherzo” personality in my life.

I was just checking out Yahoo! Asia: Phillipines Edition (don’t ask me why), and I came across a poll that asks the following question: Q. Is it possible to make peace with the MILF? Yes, everyone wants peace and is working toward it. No, the MILF’s demands can never be met. Not sure. Could somebody enlighten me? I’m familiar with the American form of “MILF”, but if “the MILFs demands can never be met”, I’m just wondering what’s going on here…