POSTS FOR 2015

I’m bad at pet names

Family Life113 words1 minutes to read

I have a new girlfriend, and she seems to have an affinity for pet names. Me, I’m not so good at them, but at least I try hard.

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My love, @red_sauce44

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She says it’s an adorable part of my geeky charm. I can live with that.

Cereal

Her: Hey honey bun! How are you?

Me: Look at you… honey bunches of oats!

Breakfast pastries

Her: Could you do me a favor, love muffin?

Me: Sure thing, my little… um… sex bagel.

Hentai

Her: Good morning, love bug.

Me: Good morning my… um… lusty tentacle…

Ryan Parman

Ryan Parman is an experienced Software/DevOps/Security engineer, currently living in Seattle. He is the creator of and , patented multifactor-authentication-as-a-service at , and came up with the idea of “serverless, event-driven, responsive functions in the cloud” while at AWS in 2010. Ryan's aptly-named blog, , is where he writes about ideas longer than . Ambivert. Curious. Not a coffee drinker.