I have a new girlfriend, and she seems to have an affinity for pet names. Me, I’m not so good at them, but at least I try hard. She says it’s an adorable part of my geeky charm. I can live with that. Cereal Her: Hey honey bun! How are you? Me: Look at you… honey bunches of oats! Breakfast pastries Her: Could you do me a favor, love muffin? Me: Sure thing, my little… um… sex bagel.

“There’s things I remember and things I forget / I miss you, I guess that I should / Three thousand five hundred miles away / But what would you change if you could?” — Raining in Baltimore Fourteen years ago, we met when I gave her a wedgie in the middle of our high school Chemistry class. Ten years ago, we were married on the first hot day of summer in a gorgeous outdoor ceremony.

When I got home this evening, I set down my backpack and began catching up on the day’s events with my family. Generally it’s a story of errands and the like, but then Matthew started telling me about how he wanted to look nice this evening. He was telling me about how he’d selected a nice pair of pants and a button-up shirt from his dresser, done his own hair, and even brushed his teeth! A tired parent As a parent, you’re frequently bombarded with a ton of information from your children, so you have to very quickly discern what’s valuable and what is not.

In September 2004, my wife came in from the bathroom and announced to all of us sitting in the living room that she was pregnant. Fast-forward to today, and my son is turning 5 years old. It’s been a wild 5 years so far, and he’ll probably even live another 5 years before I kill him for one thing or another. Have a happy birthday, son, and I hope you enjoy your new bike! :)

“Daddy, daddy! Jack is throwing up!” Jack is our dog — a 10 pound terrier-chihuahua not much bigger than a cat, that we named Jack Bauer for the sake of amusement. I sighed, paused my game of Call of Duty, and went to find the dog. Generally, dog vomit involves wiping it up with a dish towel and spraying it with carpet cleaner. However, as I walked into the living room, I found more dog vomit than I’d ever seen before!

My son’s observations on the life of a 4-year-old is a constant stream of humorous material. He’s the outgoing type who’s always looking for attention. I fully expect that he’s grow up to enjoy sports and be the life of the party. While he reminds me quite a bit of Calvin, he’s still very innocent and naïve. He calls it as he sees it, and it’s interesting to see how his perceptions of life grow and change over time.

I remember back to the late 80’s when I would play Super Mario Bros. with my friends. The one defining aspect of playing that game back then was that I would try to make Mario jump by jerking my controller up in the air. Of course this didn’t do anything, but it was just a natural reaction to playing the game. My mom did the same thing for years. Fast-forward to today. My 7-year-old is just starting to learn to play video games.

Today she turns four. I have a long drive to and from work — an hour fifteen to an hour and a half, and I don’t get to spend as much quality time with my daughter as I’d like. Sure, we sit together in the car, but that’s not always the same. Whenever it’s just she and I, we’ll oftentimes make up silly songs on-the-spot, we’ll tell jokes, and I’ll ask her questions to continually try to find out what makes her tick.

The contractions are about 15 minutes apart right now. She said she’d be surprised to make it to lunchtime. Is Baby Matthew coming today? Update: After having contractions all day long (mostly at home), the doctors broke her water at 10:00pm and Baby Matthew was born at 10:39pm! 21 inches long; 8 pounds 5.8 ounces. The kid is totally chill. He’s hardly cried the whole time, and he seems like he’s just hangin’ out trying to take it all in. Baby and mommy are both healthy, although a bit tired.

My son, Matthew Taylor Parman, is due in about 3 weeks. I can’t believe how fast it’s all happened. His due date has just completely snuck up on me. “Ah, we have time…”, but apparently not. I’m trying to remember life with a newborn. All I remember about last time is that it was miserable getting up in the middle of the night, and hating life when it was my turn to get up with the baby. My daughter Julianna is super excited to meet her brother, “Baby Matthew”, that we’ve been talking about for the last eight months (well, actually only four months, because that was when we found out it was a boy; before it was just “The Baby”).

A snot-nosed three-year-old getting a hold of mommy’s stocking stuffer on Christmas Eve…

Happy Birthday, Emily Ann Boydston! I know it’s been a while since we’ve talked, and I know that this is an old picture (1998), but happy 22nd birthday. I hope that things are going great for you!

My wife and I have been married for roughly 3.5 years. For most of that time, we were renting a room from her parents. Whenever Christmas would come around, her parents would get a tree and decorate it, and I was never really part of the process. This year is the first year where we have our own place where we can pick out the tree together, decorate it together, and wrap presents together (although she’s really good, and I just goof it all up).

My wife, daughter and I were all sitting at the kitchen table eating waffles for breakfast this morning, when this humorous exchange involving my 2-year-old took place: Wife, smiling at daughter: “This is a really fun age, isn’t it?” Ryan, chewing: “Mhmmm…” *short pause* Daughter, defiantly: “NO IT’S NOT!” Ryan, losing it: *muffled snicker*

I’m watching my daughter sleep… She’s sucking on her Binkey, cuddled up with her stuffed bunny, underneath her Winnie-the-Pooh blanket. She’ll be two years old soon. I can hardly believe it. It was a little over two years ago when my then-girlfriend (current-wife) and I found out she was pregnant sitting in an examining room at Kaiser. She and I were in very different spots in our lives at that point… we weren’t even sure if we were going to stay together.