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Movie Reviews 2003

Music, Movies, TV Shows672 words4 minutes to read

I saw five movies while on vacation in San Diego this past week-and-a-half. None of them sucked, but some were better than others. I will devulge some plot information here, so if you don’t want to know, then don’t read this post. Here are their reviews:

Finding Nemo

This was an excellent flick. The guys over at Pixar have done it again. Finding Nemo is funny, touching, and kinda yanks at those heartstrings from time to time. Ellen DeGeneres does an excellent job as the voice for “Dori”, the short-term-memory lacking fish who accompanies Nemo’s dad along the way. Mike Wazowski (from Monsters, Inc.) makes a short cameo at the end of the film’s credits (which nobody catches except dorks like me who sit through the end of the credits in every movie).

Bottom Line: A+

Pirates of the Carribbean

This was definitely not one of the movies on my list to see this summer. My wife had to buy the tickets behind my back and trick me into the theatre to go see it. After I saw it, I was walking through the shopping center telling everybody to go see “Pirates”. Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom (the kick-butt bow-and-arrow elf from “Lord of the Rings”) give spectacular performances in this comedic-action film. I’m going to see it again this week, and probably one more time over the weekend.

Bottom Line: A+

American Wedding

American Pie was, and still is, one of my favorite movies that is reminiscent of High School. American Pie 2 was not as good, but still entertaining as it narrowed it’s focus from 4 best friends to a guy (Jim) who ends up liking a girl (Michelle). American Pie 3: “American Wedding” was almost as good as American Pie 2, but not quite. Jim and Michelle are getting married. Jim’s two remaining best friends (what happened to Chris Klein?) and good ol’ Stiffler are there to help out. Stiffler and Finch end up going after the same girl (Michelle’s virgin cousin), and Stiffler ends up eating dog crap, winning a dance contest in a gay/trans bar, and having sex with Jim’s strict jewish grandmother. The movie seemed to focus a lot more on Stiffler than anyone else. I was kinda irritated at Michelle’s cousin’s attitude towards the sacredness of sex. Also I didn’t like how the screenwriters just wrote out the other characters. There was no “oh, this person moved to Japan, and this person is in Jail”. Nope, they just didn’t exist anymore. Sorry, see ya later.

Bottom Line: C

Freaky Friday

This movie was pretty good. No, there weren’t any crazy action sequences or anything, but the movie was good overall. A mother and daughter bicker and argue all the time over things that teenagers and their parents argue over. They go to a chinese restaurant for dinner, and open fortune cookies at the same time that both of them say “You wouldn’t last one day in my life…”. Of course, this makes them switch places until they both do something selfless for each other. It’s funny watching a 15 year old act 40, and a 40 year old act 15. Although the teenager vs parent dynamic is a bit over the top (and obviously written from a parent’s point-of-view), I’d say catch the matinee showing and take your kids.

Bottom Line: B

Bad Boys II

Will Smith and Martin Lawrence play police officers for the city of Miami (read: Will Smith in Miami). Mike (Will Smith) and Marcus (Martin Lawrence) are cops that are after the bad guys. Except that there are bad guys that go after the bad guys, and those bad guys are worse guys. The Russians and the Cubans are at each other’s throats, and one of the Russians gets cut up into pieces and stuffed into a barrel. There are high-speed chases, explosions, half-naked girls, and a “Phantom Menace”-caliber plot. Martin Lawrence whines alot, both before and after he accidentally ingests some ecstacy, giving him “an enormous erection”.

Bottom Line: C+

Ryan Parman

is an engineering manager with over 20 years of experience across software development, site reliability engineering, and security. He is the creator of SimplePie and AWS SDK for PHP, patented multifactor-authentication-as-a-service at WePay, defined much of the CI/CD and SRE disciplines at McGraw-Hill Education, and came up with the idea of “serverless, event-driven, responsive functions in the cloud” while at Amazon Web Services in 2010. Ryan's aptly-named blog, , is where he writes about ideas longer than . Ambivert. Curious. Not a coffee drinker.