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3D iPad? I don't believe it.

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Neither I nor anybody I know cares all that much for 3D movies. The picture is muddy, colors are messed up, and the movies made with it are far too gimmicky for my tastes. The technology is still too new for the movie industry to have learned how to make compelling films with it yet.

However, the 3D snake oil salesmen from Hollywood want you to believe that Apple is going to build this low-quality tech into their next iPad. Sylvie Barak, writing for RCRWireless, reporting about a rumored “glasses-free 3D” iPad 3:

“The fact that the iPad 3 is 3D is a dead cert,” one Hollywood insider close to the big movie studios told RCR, adding that the screen would be the real magic. She went on to say that the big film studios were currently running around like blue arsed flies trying to gear up to release plenty of 3D content in time for Apple’s next launch.

There’s only one problem with this rumor — well, only one that I’m going to point out: With the notable exception of James Cameron’s Avatar, 3D sucks, and Apple does not ship crap.

Eric Mack, writing for CNet, picked up the story and had this to say:

I’m left wondering if this anonymous source might actually be Charlie Sheen […]

I’m left wondering exactly the same thing.

Ryan Parman

is an engineering manager with over 20 years of experience across software development, site reliability engineering, and security. He is the creator of SimplePie and AWS SDK for PHP, patented multifactor-authentication-as-a-service at WePay, defined much of the CI/CD and SRE disciplines at McGraw-Hill Education, and came up with the idea of “serverless, event-driven, responsive functions in the cloud” while at Amazon Web Services in 2010. Ryan's aptly-named blog, , is where he writes about ideas longer than . Ambivert. Curious. Not a coffee drinker.