HOME  → POSTS  → 2003

What If Jobs Croaks?

Apple214 words2 minutes to read

I was reading an article entitled “Soon Available In Six-Packs (8/20/03)” over at As the Apple Turns. It plays on the idea of “What happens to Apple if Steve Jobs dies?”

On the other hand, do you honestly think that Apple hasn’t prepared for that doomsday scenario? Well, it’s easy enough to find out; frankly, we lack the attention span to get through more than six words of Apple’s quarterly 10-Q without downing a couple of bottles of Focusyn first, but even we get a kick out of the “What If?” drama in the section called “Factors That May Affect Future Results and Financial Condition”— and the most current one lists such hazards as terrorist attacks, SARS, earthquakes, fires, labor disputes, price wars, higher R&D costs, screwed-up product intros, inventory write-downs, supply shortages, quality control problems, a cratering of the retail initiative, plunging pro product sales, getting smacked down in education, patent litigation, rising insurance costs, deadbeat debtors, tax rate hikes, and third-party software developers being abducted by an evil cult of mutant cannibals. There’s nary a mention of the single greatest hazard facing the company, namely Steve kicking the bucket or otherwise vacating his role as Omnipotent Apple Overlord.

It’s a rather entertaining article to read, whether or not you even like Apple.

Ryan Parman

is an engineering manager with over 20 years of experience across software development, site reliability engineering, and security. He is the creator of SimplePie and AWS SDK for PHP, patented multifactor-authentication-as-a-service at WePay, defined much of the CI/CD and SRE disciplines at McGraw-Hill Education, and came up with the idea of “serverless, event-driven, responsive functions in the cloud” while at Amazon Web Services in 2010. Ryan's aptly-named blog, , is where he writes about ideas longer than . Ambivert. Curious. Not a coffee drinker.